Love

Now, finally, it is time to tell him. She smiled. She knew she wouldn't say a word. It was still nice to imagine the scene, the shock on his face... but she was sure he knew. Someone was stroking her forehead. Must be her mom. She opened one eye. Yes, it was her mom, all colour washed off her face. She wished she could catch some glimpse of her old self – the always-active young and happy face of her mother. Would she ever see it again?

She could hear more footsteps. Yes, it was him. Coming with his customary five-star chocolate for her. She talked with her eyes closed “Back?”

“Don't you ever sleep girl?” He seemed concerned.

One eye was open again. “Give me the five star. I am famished.”

“Here,” he smiled. “We have two today.”

She opened both eyes. “Why? What's the occasion?”

“There is something. But that can wait.”

“No no no. I wanna hear now.” She was her usual adamant self.

“You told me you want to tell me something today. Let us hear that first.”

She knew he wouldn't budge till she told. He was as stubborn as her. “Alright” she gave in. "I have a wish.”

“Ok, let me get my Genie bottle.”

“Am serious”

“I am all ears”

She giggled. “I won't tell you.”

“Sigh. Some things never change. Alright what is the bribe?”

More giggles. He gave up. “Let us have it your way then. Please tell, please?”

“Let me think. Ok the thing is I can't tell you. That is my wish.”

“English please.”

“It will give away the wish. It is supposed to happen without my telling.”

“Ohhhh that kind.”

“Yes.”

He went away. Very thoughtful. He would try to guess. But as usual would never make it right. Even if, she was sure, he knew what exactly it is she wanted. Her thoughts were disturbed by the visit of the doctor. She sat through the routine check ups obediently. “My, somebody is unusually quiet today,” the doctor said.

“How many days doc?”

“Now now. You don't want to sound like another sob story Bollywood heroine. Do you?”

“The number please?”

“My verdict is 6.”

“6 what? Days or months?”

“That is up to you. It might as well be years or decades.”

“Haha. Very funny.”

The night seemed unusually calm. But she was disturbed. It was alright till now. He didn't have to tell her. She didn't mind. It was enough making wild guesses that maybe somewhere deep within him, her image was locked. She didn't want them to be 'an item' as her friends teased. She liked it this way. Never acknowledging what they really meant to each other. There was something really nice about it. The initial days of anxiety and thrills that relationships have – it would be there forever if only they didn't talk about it. They will never say that wrong line and destroy it all in one moment. What was that song? 'And then I spoiled it all by saying something stupid like I love you.'

That was really nice. Then. Now, it is different. She has just days left. He knows it too. There is no fear if the love would cease to be the same, when there are only so many days left to feel it, to enjoy it. It is really rude of him to not let her know it, to experience it. But she would never be the first to say. She knew that much. What a strange girl you are, her best friend Sandhya would tease her. But no one could understand. She wanted to love him forever, not stop by telling him. Love would lose all charm once you talk about it.

The next day, she woke up early feeling really pleasant. “What is special today mom?”

“I don't know dear.”

That is her mom now. No attempt to hide her distress. No cheeriness. That is the only thing that pains her. Not the medicines, not the aches from every part of her body. She wished every second that her mom would be able to survive her death...

“Rise and shine”. He is here.

“What are you doing here so early? Don't you have a job or anything?”

“Hey hey I am the boss wherever I go!”

“Haaa haaa”

“Somebody is in a foul mood today.”

“Albert Einstein?”

“A distant relative of his. And she has inherited his hairdo.”

“Alright genius you win. Now my five-star please.”

“None.”

“What! That is like forgetting your id card in an office! You are uhhh fined!”

“I will pay. But hear this, I have got happy news.”

“Woopeee.”

“Serious. I told her yes.” He said cheerily.

“English please.”

“Hee. I told Nayana yes. The girl who has been proposing me for over a year now.”

Her face twitched only for half a second. “Liar.”

“Honour Bright.”

“I don't believe it! Really?”

“Yea.”

“I mean, really really?”

“Really really.”

“Wow!! Little you married!”

“Not yet. The date is day after.”

“That's too soon!”

“Love is in the air babe.”

Her eyes filled before she could stop it. “It sure is... I am so happy for you.” And she was.

Nayana came in the next day with a tailor. “We need measurements.”

“Mine? For what? It is not my wedding.”

“He insists that you wear what he wants you to.”

“He can't say that!”

“Come on honey. I got to do this. Please cooperate.”

She liked Nayana. But Nayana had always looked at the two of them in a queer way. Like she knew and even appreciated the force that held them together, the force that stopped them talking their mind to each other.

It was the big day. Her mom took out a white dress. She exclaimed. “I can't wear that! That is a wedding gown.”

“So what dear? It is his wedding day. Maybe he wants you to enjoy it as much as he does.”

“This is saddism. I can't wear a wedding dress on someone else's wedding day!”

“But you have always wanted one long white wedding gown like this.”

“Mom, that was a different dream.”

She looked at her mom's face. She knew her mom wanted to see her as a bride for a long time. She gave in. “Alright, but no make up.”

She looked beautiful. Even with the medications, her face sparkled. Suddenly, Sandhya appeared from nowhere. “What the hell are you doing here?” she asked running to hug her best friend. “I flew down yesterday. He invited me too.” She couldn't believe it. It has been years since she saw Sandhya and yet she knew she had to be here today. Nayana rushed in with a veil and a net for her head. “What is this for?”

“Just put it on. No time.”

Damn him. He wants to make me look like a fool dressed like this. She shut down all other feelings cause somewhere within she knew. She didn't want to ruin it by looking ahead. Her mom walked her down the altar. He was waiting. Just like in all those dreams she saw. Annie's song playing in the background. She used to imagine him in a black suit, waiting for her, turning to smile at her, in busy streets, in crowded roads. Now he was here, in this big hall, full of people, waiting for her. It was the same face of her dreams. Everything was the same. She walked on, not questioning anymore, not complaining anymore.

“You fill up my senses

Like a night in a forest

Like the mountains in spring time

Like a walk in the rain”

She was by his side now. He bent down on his knees. Her eyes were filling up. “What are you doing?”

“Look around you. It is everyone you know.” Sure enough, there was her mom, her cousins, and all her relatives. Even her grandmother came in her wheelchair. She gave a thumbs up. There were all her friends. She looked at him. She couldn't say anything. “Will you marry me?” he asked.

She bent down on her knees. “I can't do this. Not when I have got just a few days...”

“Hush,” he kept a finger on her lips. “I am doing this for me. If you become mine, I can selfishly take away all the happiness in this world and keep it for myself, forever. I love you.”

She wept. “You said it first.”

“I did. I am the biggest idiot in the world for not doing that all this while.”

She managed to smile. “Just my luck. I love the biggest idiot in the world.”

“So… did my genie do good?”

She nodded. “Very good.”


“Come let me love you

Let me give my life to you

Let me drown in your laughter

Let me die in your arms.”

Husband raised wife up and whirled around as the song went on. The audience aww-ed. She didn't see that. She didn't see anything as she looked down from up his shoulders to see his smile and from a distance, her mom's.